Update March 17, 2018
If you remember the irresistible conversation and setting next to the piano:
(Elio, playing piano)
Oliver: That sounds different. Did you change it?
Elio: Well, I changed it a little bit.
Elio: I just played it the way Liszt would have played it if he’d altered Bach’s version.
Oliver: Play that again.
Elio: Play what again?
Oliver: The thing you played outside.
Elio: Oh, you want me to play the thing I played outside?
Elio: Ah. (Playing piano)
Oliver: I can’t believe you changed it again.
Elio: Oh, I changed it a little bit.
Oliver: Yeah, why?
Elio: I just played it the way Busoni would have played it if he’d altered Liszt’s version.
Sorry, guys. I just played it the way Mendelssohn would have played it if he’d altered Bach’s version.
i. life in numbers
alarm at 6:15
12 minutes on bike
coefficient of variance
a Pearson correlation of 0.9978
sunset at 18:14
+2 degrees Celsius
workout time March: 3:33:16
set timer: 4 minutes for tea, 6 minutes for pasta
5 minutes for soba, 50 minutes for chicken soup
check humidity: 87% outdoor, 38% indoor
check barometric pressure: 1002 hPa
Czerny Op. 740, Nr. 1
Mendelssohn Op. 19, Nr. 2
in bed at 22:20 to get 7:55:00 of sleep
11 days till spring
ii. call me by your name
I went to see this movie (wiki page) by myself Friday after work.
Sexual orientation has little to no significance as far as human emotions are concerned, at least to me. Emotions displayed in their most raw form are to be cherished. Introspecting the limits of one’s feelings is uncomfortable – How much loneliness can you bare? How much sorrow can you take? It is unlikely that anyone would actively look for answers to those questions. Only when difficult times fall upon us, we’re forced to find out.
What Elio’s father said to him in the end:
In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything – what a waste!
Another part of my favourite in the last chapter of the book:
(Elio) I had rehearsed losing him not just to war off suffering by taking it in small doses beforehand, but, as all superstitious people do, to see if my willingness to accept the very worst might not induce fate to soften its blow. Like soldiers trained to fight by night, I lived in the dark so as not to be blinded when darkness came. Rehearse the pain to dull the pain. Homoeopathically.
Take time to recover – I suppose it is always easier said than done.
[Photos from my trip to south Italy last summer.]